I'm not who I was

One of the hardest things for me in life right now is explaining to those who I have know for a long time, that I no longer believe what I used to.  This can be especially hard because the church of Christ tends to look down upon those who have "fallen" The recent Ken Ham vs Bill Nye debate was intriguing for me because I have so many doubts about what I was raised to believe. To clear things up, I believe there is a God. I believe he created the world. I do not believe in the six day creation. and as far as God's hand in the world today, I remain skeptical. Something a lot of churches don't support. I find it exhausting trying to remain friends with those who knew me before even though I know most of them would judge me and see me as broken or fallen, simply for questioning that which has not been proven. My biggest problem with religion is that the majority of those who are "religious", are some of the biggest hypocrites that I know.  Those who ought to be helping me find answers, are the ones who scoff and judge me for questioning God.

My nonexistent romantic life

Being raised as a conservative homeschooler, I now find that I have absolutely no idea how to talk to those I have a romantic interest in. I no longer believe in "courting", but that being said, I don't think dating is any better. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in relationships or anything of the sort.I have found that most relationships are failed attempts and finding someone worth being with. Half my relationships ended because I messed up, the other half because the other party involved. So the question is; is it worth it? Do I continue to ignore those I feel for because I know chances are it will end poorly? Or do I continue to dive into relationships taking the slim chance that it wont end in disaster. No matter what people say, there is no going back to being friends after being something more. I have seen this attempted in mine and others lives. It is an epic fail every time. My struggle right now is that I have been stuck on someone for the longest time. It's a crush that has really done me more harm than good. One that I'm finally getting over.  Now that I'm ready to move on, I find myself trying to figure out how to spill my feelings to a close friend, with out risking ruining what we have right now. Any advice?